Thursday, July 10, 2003

"All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream."
~ Edgar Allan Poe

i'm kinda exhausted from writing a long email...so i'll keep this short...school was fine...but something was constantly at the back of my head....and it kept nagging at me...frequently reminding me of what i said...i tried hard to seal it out, but i just couldn't...in other words, i literially couldn't concentrate in school...the only time i could concentrate was probably during PE...'cos i could 'release' all my problems during the badminton game...i already said in my previous entry...i dunno what to do...all i can think of rite now, is trying to either solve it or run away from it....i know running away is not the solution...but i have no choice...i'm not all that strong and confident as i seem on the outside...perhaps, maybe when it's my own life, i do have confidence in watever i do...but when it comes to this, i can't display the same type of confidence and strength that i usually do...like i said...the light out here, is just too bright for me...it's blinding me...though the days in the shadows were cold and gloomy, it didn't matter to me...i was used to it...

everything is just replaying itself...it's exactly what YS said to me...but he somehow could bring it across without hurting me too much...i admit, i did hurt for some time...but now, it doesn't anymore...but with u, it all seemed so different...ur words really hurt me...they hurt me so deep, that i made the decision to run...i never knew that it would end like that...but i really don't want to get hurt again...being hurt time and time again, it's not easy...until one experiences this hurt, then will u truly understand what i'm going through...if one time wasn't enough, i have to get hurt by the people that i cared for the most time n time again...i feel too...have emotions no matter how cold i am...n...yes...i do shed tears too...
lost ~no angel~ at 11:26 PM